Review: Sinner

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Sinner by Maggie Stiefvater

357 pages

Finished in October 10th 2015

5 stars


“It used to matter so much. It used to seem like such a struggle to not turn into my father. But now, sitting here, it seemed impossible that that could’ve ever happened. I had wasted so much time on this. I kept finding out that the monster I’d been fighting was only me.”

For me this is what this book is about. Cole fighting his inner monster and finding himself again. All while running what he calls “the Cole st. Clair show”, because the Cole st. Clair is not the real Cole. And this is what I love about him. He’s somewhat of an arrogant ass, who couldn’t care less what people think, yet charming and hilarious. And he’s also such a complicated and broken character. For so long he has fought a monster that was only in his head. He chased highs until he ended up facedown on the floor and then he became a wolf to run away from himself in a more clean way, like he put it.
He looses himself within himself, and only Isabel can see that. Because only Isabel really knows Cole. And only Cole really knows Isabel.

Now here’s a couple of sentences I think really sum that up:

Chapter 34
– Cole –

“I drove.
Part of me wanted to keep driving. Part of me wanted to stop.
I didn’t know which was worse.”

Chapter 35
– Isabel –

“I drove.
Part of me wanted to keep driving for the rest of my life. Part of me wanted to go to Cole.
I didn’t know which was worse.”

They think alike. They are alike. And every time they come together they crash.
They bring out the worst and best in each other. Their relationship is all kinds of complicated.
And that’s what makes them so unique for me.

“What an idiot I was. This perfect moment, this perfect kiss, and I was crying. There was so much wrong with me. I was so incredibly messed up that I couldn’t cry when everything was wrong and I couldn’t not when everything was fine.
. . .
He hesitated. Pulling back, he said, “Tell me this means something to you.”
It was a strange thing to be asked. It seemed like it should have been the other way around. He was the one who had been the touring rock star with countless girls on countless nights. He was the one with the cavalier smile and the easy laugh.
But that wasn’t the truth. Not really. Not now. Now the truth was that I was the one with the heart of metal. I was the one always walking away.”

This sums up Isabel pretty well.
She’s sarcastic and witty and a tad bit psychotic. She even wonders if she’s a sociopath. To the ordinary person she comes out has cold but to the people who really know her—Cole— you can see she feels things. She just hides them very well behind her careless attitude.
She has been disappointed and hurt for so long that she has put up a shield around herself. And that’s something I can really relate to her.

Her lack of trust in Cole is understandable. It’s hard for her to believe he has actually changed, even though he’s trying hard to convince her he has. It’s hard for Isabel to believe they even have a future together. She doesn’t believe in happy endings, her parents’ divorce tought her that. But she still wants to give it a shot, even if she believes it’s doomed.

Sinner is not your typical love story. It’s about two broken people coming together and mending each other.
It’s about a boy learning to live with the consequences of his past choices.
It’s about a girl learning to open her heart to love and trust.
This book is full of heartbreak and love, mixed with music and fame, disappointment and hope, and I honestly couldn’t be more fascinated with it.
What a brilliant way to end the Wolves of Mercy Falls series!

“I can’t change the way I’m made. I’m a performer, a singer, a werewolf, a sinner.
Just because I’m singing it for a crowd doesn’t make it untrue.
If we make it through this alive, I’m going to tell you the truth of why. And this time you had better believe me.
I came back for you, Isabel.”


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